Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Know your neighbors, know your friends, do not be silent

It is coming out now that the daughter of one of the kidnappers was the best friend of the youngest of the three women victims in Cleveland, Ohio, and was the last person to see her when she disappeared. It is unclear at this point if she lived in the house where the women were held. We still don't know if the kidnapper's daughter was party to this at any point, or not, but it reinforces the statistic that overwhelmingly, rapists know, in some degree, their rapists.

We have also this week witnessed the friends of the younger of the two Boston bombers in court, for aiding him after the fact, even though they had reason to believe that he was involved, and even though a bomb was found in the dorm room from which they removed and tried to destroy evidence.  We have also learned as details emerge that the mother of the two bombers (alleged) was of concern to authorities as a radical who was a potential terrorist. The bombs involved appear to have been assembled in the apartment that the older brother that he shared with his wife and daughter while she was at work.  It was a small apartment; we don't know how much she knew, or if she was coerced and intimidated into silence, but she must have known SOMETHING in such a relatively small space.

We have this week a terrorist arrested in a small town in western Minnesota, although we are still learning more about how this came to the attention of authorities. This man lived with his father in a mobile home; guns and bombs were found throughout the house and in outbuildings near the mobile home.  Some of them were considered so unstable that they had to be removed by specially equipped bomb squads for detonation in a safe place. 

It is clear that family, neighbors and friends in all three of these crimes had direct knowledge, it comes out that people knew, and those closer to the people involved in crimes knew the most. This may not be true in every case, but it tends to be true more often than not, if not before, certainly afterwards.

It is not my intent to turn family members against other family members, or neighbor against neighbor.  But people cannot engage in crimes that are complex, expensive, and dangerous to others without someone looking the other way.  We need to take seriously those who espouse violence in the course of their political or relgio-political beliefs - and that includes Christians not just muslims or others.  The reality is that many of these people are cowards full of hot air and belligerent swagger who lack the spine to follow through on their boasts.  But not all of them are just gutless blowhards, as we have seen over and over and over.  Too many of these jerks feel empowered when they acquire the means of violence, like bombs, like firearms, particularly very powerful firearms, to harm others, to lash out, to act criminally.

It is in part why we need background checks on all sales of weapons, because individuals need to be held more accountable for what is sold to other individuals, either directly or through the mail or internet. When the NRA says we need good guys with guns to stop bad guys with guns, they fail to acknowledge that it is not easy to distinguish who is the good guy or who is the bad guy; or that nearly everyone thinks THEY are the good guy even when they are not so very good at all.  Most bad guys believe someone else is the bad guy, and do not recognize that the bad guy might be themselves.

For that reason we need as Americans to come together in spite of whatever differences we have in belief or ideology or religion, to oppose violence - political violence, religious motivated violence, or simple (or not so simple) domestic violence.  We need to oppose a cultural attitude that disparages people who cooperate with authority as snitches or tattle tales or meddlers or busy bodies.

I would urge readers to regard violence as not something that happens to other people, people on the television or radio, people written about in the papers, or people maybe casually gossiped about over a cup of coffee, soft drink or a friendly beer.

Violence is around us more than we like to think.  I've written here about threats and harassment, and of aggressively bringing those to the attention of authorities. That continues to be the policy of this blog.  As I expand my writing to other venues, I find my own experiences are consistent but not identical with other writers.  One of my co-bloggers now carries multiple spare tires at all times after not only being threatened, but repeatedly having tires slashed. In discussing a new column I'm starting on a national platform, the subject of writing under a pseudonym came up, and specifically threats from the gun huggers against those who write about gun control.  I'm no longer surprised to learn that this larger forum has experienced the same pattern of threats and harassment against their writers, and more on that topic than others.  My encounters with authority in reporting these instances suggests strongly that these threats come far more often from the right, from the authoritarian hurt-those-who-don't-conform-to-your-way-of-thinking pro-punitive (rather than corrective or supportive) conservatives.

I've learned that silence aids the bad guys in writing about gender and sexual orientation, sexual education, and full and equal civil rights for everyone regardless of being male or female, bi or transgender, and about opposing domestic violence or intimate partner violence, or violence by adults towards the elderly, children or animals. I've learned that speaking up and speaking out, including in providing information on bad guys or potential bad guys who embrace violence is more effective than threats or guns or any other use or threat of force in return.

Speak out, push back against the acceptance, the worship of violence in our culture.  Silence helps criminals, silence gives cover to the violent. It is not ok.  The person you save may turn out to be you yourself, or someone you love, or someone you work with, a friend, a family member, a neighbor.  But even if that person is a stranger that you aid, it is important that you do so when you have the opportunity.  Don't give in to the temptation of apathy, or timidity. Act.

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