All Ann Romney has in common with most American women is a pair of X Chromosomes

I applaud the President for putting spouses off-limits in campaigns; that is more courtesy than his wife and family have received in the past.  Anyone remember some of the attacks by the right, including from members of Congress and especially the right wing talk radio thugs, against Michele Obama over her campaign against childhood obesity? 
I deplore that when Mitt Romney brought up his wife as his source for understanding the culture war on women, he simultaneously put her out of bounds for the kind of assessment that any other adviser would receive.  If he is relying on her on a specific topic, her advice is legitimate for consideration.
As a woman, I don't feel that examining his wife's experience regarding the lives of women who are not millionaires or billionaires is an attack. Rather it is a fair and reasonable thing to do, given Mittens himself brought this up as his source.  Pointing out Ann Romney's lack of experience is not wrong or bad.
Ann Romney has spoken a lot recently about choices -- and her choice to be a stay at home mom doing that oh-so-difficult job of raising five boys.  Yeah, boohoo.  She had the choice of NOT working, a choice not available to most working moms in less affluent circumstances.
I presume that like Mitt Romney, his five sons went to the same sort of prep schools he did - which were apparently boarding schools.  To qualify as a stay at home mom raising five sons, the sons need to be at home:

"It was an ethos that Mr. Romney tried to imbue in his five sons, even as they grew up with the trappings of wealth, like prep school tuitions, extended vacations, Jet Skis — and, in recent years, $100 million in trust funds and a paternal investment of at least $1 million in a financial company started by Tagg Romney. "

       
This is a far cry from the working mother who has to juggle her job with child care when her kids are home sick, or on vacation from school, or just to be sure someone is there to get them off to school in the morning and to be sure someone is there for them when they come home.  This is a far cry from someone who has to work extra jobs and scrape and save to try to help with the education of their kids after K-12, or even just to pay for some kind of supervision during summer vacation or maybe a summer camp experience.  I don't see it as being all that hard to raise five kids who aren't home most of the time, while the housework is taken care of by paid staff and where you yourself don't have to work. 
That puts Ann Romney as out of touch as a wife and mother as her husband is with mainstream American life.

More than that, she has multiple homes with multiple housekeepers, She doesn't do her own cleaning. UNLIKE the average American woman who is targeted by the right wing culture war:

"Despite health concerns, does a woman who owns three homes and employs four housekeepers count as fair representation of the average household mom? Based on a 2010 tax return provided by The Data Lounge, Romney reported an income of $21.7 million. The report revealed that $20,603 went to taxable wages for household help- an extremely low number to begin with, given that an average housekeeper earns up to $50,000 a year."

Mrs. Romney is a survivor of both multiple sclerosis and breast cancer.  How fortunate for her as a wealthy trophy wife that SHE had the opportunity for readily available health testing.
That is emphatically NOT the case for all the women who are now being adversely impacted, denied health care services including diagnostic procedures for breast cancer, by the defunding of Planned Parenthood.  But as I'm sure she has never relied on the services of non-profits like Planned Parenthood, I don't see how she can speak to the experience of being without health care for reproductive related needs.  I'm sure that every one of her many homes has the medical services she requires at an accessible distance -- unlike the ordinary women who rely on Planned Parenthood, which her husband promises to defund.
And I'm sure Ann Romney has NEVER in the course of her health care provider NEVER EVER had to deal with her five boys being a disqualifying pre-existing condition for insurance, or worry that her illnesses would receive treatment -- AGAIN, UNLIKE ordinary women who are less affluent.
This answer from a licensed insurance agent to a question about pre-existing conditions and pregnancy sums up what I'm sure Ann Romney doesn't know and has never experienced:

The laws that govern group and individual health plans are a little different when it comes to pre-existing conditions, and are enforced or regulated by the state department of insurance in the state where you live.

Individual plans, almost without exception, will not take on a pregnant applicant, or even a male who is looking for a health plan if he's fathered a child that hasn't been born yet.  Group plans are much more likely to accept a pregnant employee, or the spouse of a pregnant woman, on their plan after the employer's probation period is over. however, it's possible if the pregnancy is beyond the first trimester to encounter problems getting accepted. the fastest way to get the true answer in this situation is to find out what the employer's probation period is (90 days or whatever), and also ask the benefits administrator at the company to call the health insurance carrier and ask them directly. In Texas, by law, pregnancy is supposed to be covered like any other pre-existing condition on a group plan. However, if pre
Finally, every state has an individual health insurance plan that is sponsored by the state department, for persons with pre-existing that can't get covered or accepted anywhere. Do a Google search for "[your state] department of insurance" and the link for the site will come up. Contact them or review the website and look for the 'risk pool' plan. In Texas, blue cross blue shield is the provider. every state is difference. This individual policy provides coverage for persons with terminal illness, pregnancy, and anything else other insurance companies often decline or charge a fortune to cover. The premiums are about 1.25 - 1.5 times more than health insurance for the same applicant would be with a company that does not cover pre-existing conditions, but the coverage is guaranteed. in other words, you can't be declined.
This works perfectly if you already have health insurance that doesn't cover maternity. the risk pool plan will have at least a 12 month waiting period for pre-ex, like group health plans do. If you have had your old health insurance for any period of time - especially for twelve months already - you get credit for that coverage and your waiting period for pre-ex is eliminated on the new plan. If you had coverage for six months, the risk pool would give you six months of credit off the pre-ex waiting period. If your baby's due in 8 months, it will work because you only have to wait six months for the pre-ex part of the coverage to be effective.  If your baby's due in 2 months, your pre-ex period won't be over yet and it the pregnancy won't be covered.
So what do you do if the answers above don't work for you ...?
In a worse case scenario, you can approach your obstetrician and negotiate a price for a package deal of nine months of prenatal care and baby delivery. The cost would be at least $2,500-3,500; for c-sec, $5,000-7,000. Your cash offer should be 50% of whatever the doctor charges insurance companies for the same service. offer monthly payments with the last one due on the baby's due date. You can negotiate the hospital bill for a package deal for an overnight stay the same way.
Call each medical care provider (ob and the hospital) to get the charge they send to insurance companies for the services you need before you let on you need to negotiate your bill. If you can, pay the hospital installments over the nine months during the pregnancy and they'll be more likely to agree to the arrangement. Collecting money for medical services after the care has been rendered is really difficult, so many medical providers don't like to negotiate at all. don't be discouraged. Good ob docs and hospitals do this everyday, but it's not in the grapevine for the public to know. It's easy to panic if you're expecting and don't have maternity. Instill the idea in your mind that everything's negotiable, and trudge ahead with finding a doctor and hospital you like. Your determination will show and help you during negotiations. It's also a good persuasion tool to write your arrangement on paper when you present it to a medical care provider to show how serious you are.

So if Ann Romney was not staying at home, vacuuming, folding laundry and handing out milk and cookies to those five sons of hers.......where was she? She was ill for a period of time pre-90's.  Fortunately for her, unlike so many women in the mainstream of America, she could take as much time as she needed for her health.  She didn't have to work to keep her health insurance, no matter how exhausted she was from treatment.  She didn't have to handle those difficult five boys without paid help, and then only when they were home from boarding school.
So.......what was she doing after the latter-1990's when she was ill?  She was not home with the boys, she was off doing competitive horse events.  I have ridden beginning level dressage a very long time ago.  It is expensive, it is time consuming, it is extremely challenging.  To ride competitively at the level that Ann Romney does is not something one does in a spare few minutes here and there. That this is what Ann Romney chose to do with her time instead of entering the work force only underlines the vast chasm of the disconnect between her life experience and 99% of American women.  The monthly boarding costs described below are probably not only more than the value of most people's mortgage payment or rent, they almost certainly exceed the monthly median income of a family of four.
Does this sound like someone who can advise Mitt Romney, presidential candidate on the reality of most women?  I don't think so!  Ann Romney is no 'everywoman'.
From the 'behind the bit' blog:
Ann's dressage dream
If you don't already know, Mitt Romney's wife Anne is a dressage rider. She was diagnosed with a debilitating illness -- multiple sclerosis -- in the late 1990s. When the disease was under control, she decided to pursue her childhood dream to learn dressage. Ann threw her leg over her first dressage horse at age 50. Now, at age 58, she is now competing at the Grand Prix level, having achieved her silver and gold USDF medals. She rides with Jan Ebeling and she has taken on the role of sponsor, buying several horses from Europe for him to compete internationally. 

Dressage on the campaign trail
George W. Bush was able to use Texas cowboy imagery to appeal to the average American. As for dressage, I'm not sure that it will play in Peoria. The word "dressage" elicits a narrow range of responses in my non-horsey social circles: a) blank stares, b) references to watching paint dry/grass grow, or most often, c) "Isn't that very expensive????" The New York Times Dec 16, 2007 article on Romney made a few pointed observations on Ann's riding:

"Dressage is a sport of seven-figure horses and four-figure saddles. The monthly boarding costs are more than most people’s rent. Asked how many dressage horses she owns, Mrs. Romney laughed. 'Mitt doesn’t even know the answer to that,' she said. 'I’m not going to tell you!'"

It would have been easier if she hadn't picked a sport that was so--well, European. The Dallas Morning News described Ann Romney's dressage demonstration ride at a Salt Lake City rodeo.

[Mitt Romney's] wife, Ann, is a competitor in dressage, the equestrian event that features a variety of often-indistinguishable trots, canters and walks. She and two others demonstrated the sport, dressed in traditional dressage breeches and riding horses with names like Gucci. It's more Rodeo Drive than rodeo. The audience applauded politely. 'I guess the fancy horses get to be in the Olympics, but the working horses don't," said Tom Corrin of Salt Lake City.'"

I keep seeing news articles about how the baby boomers are still paying off their college debt - both men and women.  Ann Romney is of an age to be considered a boomer; she went to Brigham Young and Harvard.  I'm fairly confident that unlike the many boomers, and the many women who are younger than the boomers, she is NOT still paying off HER college debt.  Just one more way in which Ann Romney is out of touch with mainstream American women targeted by the culture wars.

So........how do we DARE criticize Ann Romney (gasp!) for her advice to Mitt on women and economics? How do we NOT dare? There is NOTHING about Ann Romney that has anything in common with the life experiences of mainstream American women. In taking a FAIR and objective look at Republican culture wars, we cannot afford to ignore this disconnect.  There is far too much at stake.   Ann Romney can afford to talk about choices; she has many.  If Mitt Romney is elected, if right wing politicians are elected, we will have far fewer choices than we have now.