Showing posts with label Sexism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexism. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Update on the Fox News Downfall

In addition to Bill O'Reilly's well deserved exit from Fox News, on Monday, the door slammed on now former co-President of Fox News, Bill Shine, amid a cluster of NEW law suits over both corporate sexism and racial discrimination.  Some of those stories include reports of black female employees being coerced into arm wrestling white female employees, for the gratification of their white male bosses.

Shein took over from sex crazed exec and office pervert (alleged) Roger Ailes, effectively the founder of Fox News.  It appears he did not do much if anything to change the toxic misogynistic and racist culture of the organization.

Further rumors that are credible say that Sean Hannity will be out by Friday, giving rise to rumors that Fox News may be on its way to a substantial decline or even a possible collapse.

We have another deplorable supporting the Fox News misogyny, Michael Reagan weighing in.
Another anti-women conservative, the son of the disastrous conservative president Ronald Reagan,
who tweeted in defense of Fake News, apparently ignoring that the dress of women on camera was dictated by the management:
"If women are going to wear low cut dresses that show cleavage don't be harassed when we men look. Or should we sue for sexual arousal?"
Apparently Reagan never got the memo or the upbringing that men and women are each of us responsible for our own feelings and reactions, and especially for unacceptable behavior.  The issue here is that unacceptable behavior, including unprofessional conduct. 

It is ironic that so many of the women of Fox News are now found on MSNBC.  Perhaps even more surprising is that there is an apparent friendship and mutual adration society that has quietly existed for a while now between Roger Ailes and MSNBC  super star Rachel Maddow.  The story goes that Ailes is a huge admirer of the work done by Maddow.  It is worth noting that as Maddow has gained experience she has surpassed the performance of Fox News, particularly in the more desirable demographics.

I found it ironic while posting the news of the departure of another figure from the right wing propaganda outlet, notorious for its factual inaccuracies and partisan malice, grotesque hypocrisy, racism and on-air sexism, that some of the more ignorant right wing trolls claimed that the worst thing that ever happened at Fox News was some slightly salty language.  They denied the findings of the law firm that Fox hired to investigate the charges against the company which found them to be true.  And credible journalism like the New York Times reported that the sexual harassment extended at times to women being intimidated into being groped, kissed against their will, and women being coerced to perform oral sex acts on executive in the Fox News offices during working hours.  The trolls were apparently a mixture of women and men on the right, among some of the most misinformed individuals I have ever encountered (based on their expressed beliefs appearing in comments), which argues well for the accuracy of Hillary Clinton that both sexism and misogyny were factors in her election defeat.

In other news supporting the contention that the radical right are members of an adult version of the Little Rascals' "He Man Women Haters Club" has been the news that Rep. Fisher in New Hampshire was one of the originators of a particularly toxic and noxious sub reddit, a type of forum / website, in which he makes the observation
..on The Red Pill made by one of Fisher’s alleged usernames in 2008 reads, “rape isn’t an absolute bad, because the rapist I think probably likes it a lot. I think he’d say it’s quite good, really.”

...The Red Pill frequently normalizes rape, diminishes female intelligence and discusses the best ways to pick up women, including “negging,” a tactic in which men say backhanded compliments to women in order to lower their confidence and make them more open to sexual advances.
This is conservatism in the 21st Century.  Those who do not share these deplorable and repugnant views in how they conduct themselves are however far too willing to include in their party and their politics those who do act and think like this in devaluing and demeaning women.  This is the GOP that accepted TRump as a candidate and support him in his presidency.  This thinking is where the racist and the sexism in policy originates on the right.  And the Evangelical Right is smack in the middle of it, as are the far right white supremacists and other people Hillary Clinton correctly identified  as deplorables.  Just as Racism drove right wing hatred of Obama for being bi-racial, this misogyny drove the hatred of Hillary Clinton.  Neither was rational or objective. No one repudiates it on the right, no one drives out these people on the right.

Fox News and Republican candidates and Conservative polices all normalize the view of women as lesser, not equal.  This is true in opposing equal pay for women as much as in treating women as sexual objects or second class citizens without the same rights and true equality.  The right is attempting to make misogyny socially acceptable and to make other hate such as racism, religious intolerance, and hate and fear for the LGBT acceptable.  The opposition to so-called "political correctness" is just one facet of this effort to undermine women in society.

And in other news another Right Wing Extremist, a be able to have an abortion as the result of either.

From CBS News:
Mourdock, a Tea Party-backed candidate who beat longtime moderate Senator Richard Lugar in the state's Republican nominating contest earlier this year, expressed his view that "life begins at conception" and that he would only allow abortions in circumstances in which the mother's life was in danger.

...Republican candidate Richard Mourdock suggested that pregnancies resulting from rape are "something that God intended to happen,"
His assertion, lacking internal logic, that nothing happens without the will of God would then presumably extend as well to murder or crimes against humanity.  Because nothing can happen without God's will making it so -- which should include abortion, giving the majority of conceptions do not implant or otherwise naturally terminate, so.......approved by God. This is the same mindset that gives rapists custody of their children conceived from criminal acts, and the same mindset in other parts of the world that see no crime in rape, if the victim subsequently marries the rapist, because then "all good".

I have to wonder if Murdock were raped, but did not get pregnant, if he would still find that an Act consistent with the approval of God? I'm betting absent the accident of pregnancy he would not.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

A Miracle! Lightning did NOT strike Mike Pence!

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that in the midst of so egregiously lying through his teeth, that Pence was not fried by a bolt from heaven.

Hillary Clinton is correct when she describes substantial numbers of Trump supporters (and therefore Pence supporters) as deplorables.

It does not matter if you are a hard working American or a religious American, IF you also are a hateful bigot.

You are a bigot if you try to deny the LGBT the rights to be treated as full and equal human beings.  LGBT people work hard too. You are a bigot if you are racist; you are a bigot if you support the many ways the right treats women as second class citizens.  You are a bigot if you have fear and antipathy towards immigrants and towards people of different religions than your own - notably Muslims, but in some cases on the right also anti-Judaism.

Those things make an American a deplorable person; they do so because these people are harmful and unfair to other Americans.  There are Americans who genuinely suffer and are victimized by these deplorables, while their contributions are no better than those towards whom they are bigoted.

David Duke is one of those deplorable human beings.  Mike Pence refuses to call him out as a deplorable human being, or to call out his behavior and beliefs. Mike Pence uses the excuse that he is not a name-caller.

This from the man who daily calls Hillary crooked Hillary, despite the lack of any criminal conviction. 

This from the man who is on the same ticket as a man convicted of racism, and who is credibly accused of sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape, as well as a long history of rampant misogyny and ethnic bias, a promiscuous serial adulterer married to a porn queen, who engages in widespread fraud and corruption.

Oh, Mike Pence -- BEWARE!  That much lying and hypocrisy could still get you that zap from above!  That goes for you Mike Pence, and the guy next to you, with the bleached dead racoon on his head and the tiny but greedy grasping hands.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Rand Paul Wants to Take America Back........to When?

2016 Rand Paul campaign button
That would make Jesus cry, and maybe a founding fatherl not Ron Paul --- Moses.


The questions the boring thinkers are asking are the obvious questions, which are the wrong questions.

Who does Rand Paul want to take America away from that has it, and what does he intend to do with it?  The obvious answer would seem to be the dominance of old white crabby flabby theocrats, given his previous positions on race and religion, economics and civil rights.  He wants life to be like the good old days, where those minorities and women stayed in their subordinate, subjective places, and didn't make waves about eating at every lunch counter, or controlling their own lady parts, or that voting stuff.  That is strictly for conservative Christian white men, and right thinking corporations to run government.

And definitely none of those false religions that other people in the world believe in.  No. No. No.


Definitely "no mo of the homo" either.  Absolutely no more science; we have too
Rand Paul, Tea Party pose
much of THAT already, and clearly there is a big PROBLEM with reality and all those facts leaning liberal.  Those have to go.

No, no voting or lunch counter sitting or equal pay or reproductive choice, no no no.  None of that modern stuff when Rand gets his hands on America for 'HIS' 'Murikans (good Christians all, the right wing fundie Evangelical kind only).


A better question to ask is WHEN does Rand Paul want to take America back?

Would he be aiming at 1950?

Or is pro-confederacy, pro-session, pro-white supremacy Rand Paul aiming to send us backward even further, to the 1850s?

Inquiring minds want to know, but only from curiosity.  WE do NOT want him taking America away from a broadly diverse America, with whom he and his fringie-bots do not want to share power, or to have the backward culture wars that make people second class citizens imposed on us by the delusional right wing nuts.

Rand Paul -- not back to the future, just backward, and downward.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sex, Politics, and the Pursuit of Happiness

"Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women."
“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape,”
"Women have babies and men provide the support. If you don't like the way we're made you've got to take it up with God."
- Phyllis Schlafly

"Don't you think that the irresponsible behaviour of men is caused by women?"
-Pope John Paul II
(response to Dr. Nafis Sadik's suggestion that the church could play a role in reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in Third World countries by teaching men not to "impose themselves" on unwilling wives. Dr. Sadik is a woman.)


"There is nothing loving about sex."
"Having sex without horniness is a greater expression of love. Sex is self- satisfying, but not meant for pleasure."
"Inequality is the natural condition."
-Fr. Paul Marx, Human Life International Symposium on Human Sexuality

"Incest is a voluntary act on the woman's part. If it were not, it would be rape."
Charles Rice, professor emeritus of law, Notre Dame University, currently teaching "Law and Morality"


"Many women have been brainwashed by the mindset of our society. They have been educated beyond their intelligence and beyond their natural instincts ..."
'The Flourishing Mother', Above Rubies, March 13, 2002

"It is interesting that today many women are so educated beyond their intelligence that they no longer understand the way God created them - with a womb to nurture life and breasts to nourish that precious life." 'Fully Female'
- Nancy Campbell,

"The proposed law on rape within marriage threatens the whole concept of the special marriage relationship."
Light magazine, Nov. 6, 1976
- Rev. Fred Nile, Christian Democratic Party


"I smell the stink of your fetid breath in the welfare lines; in crime ridden public housing compounds, in the detox wards where the detritus of liberalism wretch the bile of leftist compassion onto the floor; and in the horror chambers where Dr. Frankenstein rips your doomed children from the wombs of your defiled women."
ApathyBoyblog comment section, T.J. Swift "Swiftee" , Conservative Minnesota blogger


Let me begin by explaining that I couldn't encompass describing the scope of the further-to-the-right conservative view of sex with fewer quotations. The above represent a cross section of Catholic and Protestant Christian views, along with the views of both male and female secular conservatives.

Let me also add, in great haste, that I do not presume that these individuals speak for ALL conservatives; I am well aware that there is a spectrum of views on women and on sexuality among conservatives, and also that these views do NOT by any stretch of the imagination speak for the wider point of view held by more moderate Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, or Protestant Christians. So, please, please do not take these quotations as expressing any assumptions about the more widely held views of any religious denomination.


The last quotation however was, although not on Penigma, at least in part, a response directly to Pen, AB, and myself, and so became my inspiration here. I was particularly struck by the notion that apparently women are defiled by having sex, but that men are not. I was further struck by the notion, typical of the 17th century, that rape does not, cannot by definition, occur within marriage. Statistically approximately 25% of all reported rapes occur between spouses (and many more rapes go un-reported).

"Swiftee" specifically stated in further comments that because I associated with liberals, I could not "find the strength to realize my worth". I would argue that everytime I write something here on Penigma, or on any of the other locations where I blog, that I use my intelligence, my skills, my perceptions and my character to do precisely that - to use my strength to realize my worth.

When I was a small child, before I was old enough to attend kindergarten, I was furious that grown ups could force me to wait to go to school. I wanted to learn how to read, and I wanted to learn NOW; I made a pretty good start at teaching myself to read, but I was absolutely convinced that school would speed things up tremendously. I was never a patient child. I vividly remember an afternoon spent alone with my maternal grandmother talking about the importance of school. I asked her if she had been a good student. It turned out my grandmother had been first in her graduating class, by a very large margin......but in her day, it was the best male student who was designated valedictorian. The best a woman could hope to achieve, regardless of the extent to which she excelled, was to be salutatorian; for which my grandmother received recognition, including giving a brief salutatory address - a welcoming statement of a line or two compared to the longer, more prestigious valedictorian address.

While bad language was pretty strictly prohibited, my unexpected reaction ,"The hell I'm going to put up with THAT!" left grandma laughing so hard, and in such complete agreement, that there was no chance of reprimand. Grandmother tried to patiently explain that in her day, it was considered the appropriate thing to do, however unfair it might seem to me years after her experience. When I asked grandma WHY in the world she would go along with something so unfair, she indicated that at the time, that was how both men and women defined being feminine. When I asked my grandmother WHY that defined masculine and feminine (and yes, my observation 'that's just dumb' was a part of the conversation), she was quiet for a very long time, and finally told me she just didn't know really, that it was not logical, that it was what people believed, and that they believed it very strongly. She did observe that the male ego was definitely a part of the belief, and that there had been an implicit need to prop up male status at the expense of female status - because how women felt was regarded as frankly (according to grandma) less important than how men felt.

Grandma predicted that I would be more successful than she was, but that it would mean conflict in my life. That specific conversation was the foundation over the years until she died just shy of 100, where when we were alone together we were not older and younger, we were equals who were unusually candid with each other. Grandma shared with me that she knew absolutely nothing on her wedding night, ignorance being equated with innocence. She shared with me that she was not even aware of the symptoms of pregnancy or the realities of contraception, when she was pregnant with my mother. And she shared with me that she had not been well informed enough as a mother to pass on much useful, reliable and accurate information to my mother and my aunt.

When I was old enough to have a curiosity about sex, after one of our candid discussions between grandma and I, I decided that my parents either wouldn't know or wouldn't be comfortable answering my questions. I had a number of mentors, but while they might have wanted to answer my questions, when it came to sex, I was sure they would be put on the spot between what my parents would want and what they would want and what I would want. So, I did what I always did when I wanted to know what the adult world was unwilling or unable to provide. I turned to my local library -- where fortunately at an early age - somewhere between 7 and 8 - my parents had written the obligatory letter which gave me unlimited access to the adult section of the library without either parental or librarian approval being required. My parents assumed - wrongly - that while I clearly enjoyed science books, and reading classical literature like Shakespeare, my reading ability would provide the appropriate limits. I was reading at college level by 5th and 6th grade, and I read everything that interested me, voraciously. I read Shakespeare, beginning with The Tempest and Midsummer Night's Dream, complete with the explanations of his sexy language. I read Ayn Rand, and thought she wrote very provocative sexual relationships. I even read a couple of books by the Marquis de Sade (Justine, and Juliette), just to see what the fuss was about and to see why anyone would consider him a philosopher. An inside joke to anyone else who has read de Sade, he was not my cup of tea. It was however great fun when I was in my mid teens to correct my aunt and uncle's family minister over the dinner table after Christmas Eve service when he inaccurately used the word Sadism. (Those "she did WHAT" moments were always a source of mischief - and surprisingly, perhaps most of all second only to my enjoyment, was my grandmother's.)

I was the person my grandmother turned to, while I was still in elementary school, to speak candidly about going through menopause. I was the person who was able to be supportive to my mother when she first had a radical mastectomy, followed a few years later by a hysterectomy, in understanding what kind of physical changes were going to result from such drastic surgery. When I received incredibly thorough comprehensive sex ed in the summer school biology class I took early, to pick up extra credits towards graduation, it filled in a few blanks, but was not entirely new material.

What formed the positive views of sex in monogamous relationships were things like observing my parents kiss each other hello, a 'real' kiss, not just an indifferent peck on the cheek when my father came home from the office. Or watching my father grieve over having lost his soul mate when my mother died at an unfortunately early age. Equally important were the loving long term relationships I formed with the men in my life, as mentors, as lovers, and most of all as friends which led me to regard sex as spiritual and about connection and character not just libido.

Every aspect of the attitudes about sex, and gender, encompassed in the quotations above, are hateful towards women and demeaning towards a wholesome and loving equal sexual relationship. Swiftee used the word 'defiled'. To defile, by the dictionary definitions, is to make dirty, unclean, polluted, or debased. It means to violate chastity. It means to desecrate. It means to sully a reputation. I can think of no better definition to describe the conservative view of sex and gender expressed by the quotes above, than defilement; defilement of women, defilement of what sex can and should be. The views in those quotes is ugly, it is degrading, and it is hateful. I am grateful to all of the people in my life who shaped my view of sex and gender, but most especially to the men in my life, whether teacher, friend, or lover, for valuing women generally, and for always valuing me specifically; and especially for helping me to value myself and to realize my strength and my potential.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Across the 'Great Divide'

Recently on a friend's blog, there was an exchange over Sarah Palin and other conservative / right wing women. We were addressing the qualifications of women who are influential in politics, either as a politician or a potential candidate, or as a person who is politically influential as a writer or broadcaster with a significant audience of viewers or readers, and the kinds of criticism they receive.

My friend took the position that all conservative women are bashed by liberals, unfairly, and that there is some sort of monolithic group of equally significant individuals who were apparently treated badly for no other reason than their conservatism.

I argued, or at least attempted to argue, that there was no such monolithic group, that the individuals under discussion were widely dissimilar in both qualifications and abilities. I characterised for example Gretchen Carlson, from my post "Dumb Like a Fox", as a beautiful, talented, intelligent and well-educated woman, with a better vocabulary than she demonstrates on television. In the course of the comparison, I contrasted Carlson's degree with honors from Stanford with Palin's multiple lesser college and community college education, and with Michele Bachmann's undergraduate and graduate degrees. I also contrasted Obama's academic credentials with those of the conservative women; Obama's accomplishments exceeded those of all three women.

My intent in examining the education of these women, and Obama, was to demonstrate both their evident intelligence, and what they had done to prepare themselves through education for subsequent careers and impact on the world. I respect accomplishments where some degree of distinction was achieved. I was widely insulted for valuing education, and told that this was not important, because there are other measures of accomplishment, and because the degrees were something accomplished years ago.

I was called 'a snob' for appreciating academic distinctions, and for viewing the women in question as different and not all the same.

I also compared the credentials specifically of Obama and Palin in elected office, noting that Wassilla had a population of less than 6,000 when she was mayor; while Obama when elected to the state Senate of Illinois had a constituency of more than 210,000. As Senator for Illinois, Obama represented a state of more than 12,800,000 compared to Palin governing Alaska with a population of a little over 680,000. Because she held, however briefly, executive office, my friend and his supporters argued Palin was more qualified, and Obama was unqualified because he had only served in the legislative branch of government.

Now, my intent in looking at the relative populations and at academic accomplishments was to begin a comparison with things that could be quantified in some way, degrees was one measure of accomplishment, the size of relative constituency another. Quantifiable comparisons appealed to me as a means for objective rather than subjective evaluation on a topic where subjective views seemed to me to be given too much importance.

At no point did I assert that there were no other valid kinds or measures of accomplishment. And at no point did anyone ask me if this was my only criteria for comparison or why I chose to begin with quantifiable measures.

Now, personally, I don't happen to believe that the activities of a mayor of a tiny town of 5,000+, which is managed by a professional manager instead of the mayor IS a valid qualification for claiming executive experience. Nor do I see a great deal to admire in the administrative or executive career of a governor who spends a good part of her term on the campaign trail or promoting herself instead of serving as governor, before quitting.

I fail to see how academic accomplishments cease to be valid accomplishments over time, as if they had an expiration date. Certainly if the academic accomplishments are the base from which a person proceeds to have a noteworthy career after graduation, they would seem to be worth consideration.

I also fail to see how a career in the legislative branches of government, where the bills are proposed and laws passed on which the executive branch subsequently acts in governing, makes an individual somehow less competent or knowledgeable about how government works, or negates abilities to act as an executive, either in elected government or the private sector. I would argue, rather, that there are a number of areas where there is considerable overlap.

But I stopped, deciding not to continue to try to disagree as objectively as I was able, with people whose minds were closed, and whose reaction to holding a different view was insulting accusations rather than open minds and courtesy. Trying to explain myself didn't seem worth the effort; no one seemed to care. In their defence, I did characterize Palin as an individual I found trivial and superficial, using a very innocuous term, 'popsie'. That was like waving a red cape in front of an angry bull to Palin fans.

The course of the discussion, more than the subject itself, has been kicking around in my mind. As we approach the end of the calendar year, with its sentiments of peace on earth and good will to all, that failed discussion seemed antithetical to the season.

If we cannot listen to each other, or read each other's words, with an open mind and without antagonism and insult instead of attempting to understand, if there is no room for benefit of the doubt that someone might have something worthwhile to contribute........what do we have remaining?

Are the words of all of us writing in the blogosphere only to preach to the choir, are we only addressing those who already agree with us? Is there nothing left to learn from or to offer to each other? And perhaps most of concern to me, is there no point to trying to seek out fact to inform opinion............is all that matters what we want to believe, instead of what really is true?

Can there be no meeting of minds?

Following this failed attempt at discourse came an invitation to me through the Penigma2 email account, from a new web site, OpinionEditorial.com, from an editor whose job is to seek out writers who have something of substance to contribute. I was invited to write for OpEd on the basis of my recent post about Tim Pawlenty. OpEd intends to provide not a single point of view, but a range of views, in one location to appeal to readers who don't want just one side of current events.

It was a compliment to be asked to contribute; and it was encouraging that someone else found enough reason to promote different points of view to set up this new website.

With the consent of Pen, and ToE, I have recently added OpEd to the list of linked blogs on Penigma; OpEd informs me that Penigma will be added to their list of linked blogs in turn.

I have tried to look at my frustration in a constructive way, to see what I can learn from it first and foremost for my own thinking and conduct, because I have no control over anyone else. I am persuaded to let go of some of my frustration, and not to be discouraged, but to try to continue to do my best to find a factual basis for my thinking, wherever that may lead. Perhaps most of all, I'm going to try - call it my new year's resolution for 2010 - to be more open minded myself, and more receptive to the views of others, and to really pay attention to those views to be sure I understand them before leaping to conclusions too quickly.

I hope those who enjoy Penigma will join me in that resolution.

Wishing all of our readers a safe and joyous occasion, whichever holiday you may celebrate. Join me as well in celebrating today - Winter Solstice - the day of the year with the longest period of darkness and the shortest period of daylight. The joy is in knowing there will be increasing light tomorrow and each day after. Blessed be.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Dumb Like a Fox

"With foxes we must play the fox."
Thomas Fuller, English clergyman
1608 - 1661

"I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other."
- Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor and general

1769 - 1821

"'Men have forgotten this truth,' said the fox. 'But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery, French novelist
1900 - 1944


Jon Stewart ripped into Fox News for posting a graphic in response to the hacked emails of climate change scientists about their use of statistics in support of global warming. Stewart seized on the idea that Fox News and Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson might not be as stupid as she seems on the air.

The graphic, reporting misleadingly the figures about public opinion from a Rasmussen poll, showed responses to this question:

"Did scientists falsify research to support their own theories on Global Warming?"

The question results posted were:

59% Somewhat Likely
35% Very Likely
26% Not Very Likely

If you are able to do the math, as Stewart is, that adds up to 120%, which implies that there was some cherry picking of figures going on here to create an intended impression. I have no idea how many viewers typically check the math on news, or pseudo-news, programming; but I would suspect that most viewers are focused on the commentary more than on fact checking what is in front of them on screen.

Now while the statistics are not over a line with that 120% listed as the total underneath - and yes, this becomes important later on! - the voice over wording does add the numbers together. “About 60% of you say Somewhat Likely, 35% say Very Likely. So you got 90, you got a lot of people right there thinking it is likely, although 26% say Not Very Likely."

Apparently Fox talking heads have to read their graphics to their viewers, and it would seem that where you have that talking head in this case doing the math, he stops himself when he realizes how the figures in the graphic add up. He doesn't point out that if 94% disbelieve scientists falsify global warming, then you can't have another 26% believing they haven't. Instead, he switches in mid-sentence to "you got a lot of people right there thinking it is likely (falsified research).

Now apart from the condescension inherent in the graphic which assumes no one watching will catch the math discrepancy (to use a nice word for it), and apart from the implied misrepresentation of the information that is in the Rasmussen poll - they do better math than this - is the unintended irony pointed out by Stewart that this is Fox news "massaging" the data in a story that is about scientists possibly misrepresenting their data. Pot. Kettle. Black and blacker.

Wearing his usual dyspeptic expression of dismay as he contemplates the graphic and then looks into the camera, Stewart wryly observes, “So in attacking scientists for falsifying data to support their theories on global warming, you've cited a poll that adds up to 120%. This is, ah.......what's known in the business....what's known in the business as perfection."

But Stewart doesn't stop there, because Fox didn't stop there with the realization of it's first talking head that there was a problem. Fox wanted to push their skewed view, damn the data. Stewart went on to note in sarcastic understatement, "The only way you could, perhaps, top this Sundae, is with a couple of nuts completely ignoring the mathematical impossibility in front of them to further solidify their talking points du jour." He refers to the comment that "In the spirit of fairness, I believe that question was asked before these emails were revealed, so that poll number may actually be different now." As one of the other talking heads elaborates, "Substantially higher?", and is answered "It might be, yes.". This is followed with "Close to100% now?" and derisive laughter on the Fox news set in the clip. Or maybe it was nervous laughter from talking heads who realized they were lying through their teeth and might get caught at it if someone did the math.

Yeah, now it might be up to 130%, or maybe even 150%, or 200%, depending on who at Fox News is doing the graphics and cherry-picking data.

Stewart continues in his observations on Fox News with "Yeah, actually, actually, in the spirit of fairness, we should mention that this, this Rasmussen poll had a margin of error of monkey-bleeped-ridiculous."

Ah, but ya gotta love Stewart, he doesn't stop here either. He goes on to rip Fox, calling them out on their badly slanted so-called news coverage, so opposite from their espoused motto of "fair and balanced" news. He rightly (pun intended) labels their approach "passive-aggressive wonderment", providing a sarcastic exaggeration of their reasoning. Speaking as if he were a Fox News commenter, he said "Isn't it interesting that Obama gave a speech in Berlin? You know, Hitler used to speak in Berlin."

He then segues with the comment "We begin to believe that the organization may be a tad disingenuous. Now I believe that Gretchen Carlson may be another example of this." Stewart focuses his attention specifically on talking head Gretchen Carlson, whom I have followed since her early days, before her career in the media. Carlson is yet another right wing beauty pageant queen, this one from the Minnesota.

Stewart pans Carlson for her persona on Fox and Friends as "a troubled mom, who is just trying to make sense of this crazy, modern country we've got. Like when Hugo Chavez referred to Obama as an ignoramus." In a clip of Carlson, she states "I just wanted to see how much of an insult it was to be called an ignoramus. Since I didn't know what it meant, I just googled it."

Let me interject here that Minnesota, where Carlson grew up, has a pretty decent and competitive educational system in the public schools. As a product of that same educational system, I can assure readers we were taught a respectable vocabulary, including words like ignoramus. And when we genuinely don't know the meaning of a word - as contrasted with Carlson's statement here - we were taught how to use a dictionary, not just reliance on search engines like Google. I found the notion that Carlson isn't familiar with this word to be even more improbable than Stewart found it.

The clip of Carlson continues with her stating "For all of you out there who don't know what ignoramus is, like me..." This is a blatant case of Carlson dumbing down her real intellect and education. I don't know what is more offensive here, her deception, or the assumption that she has a stupid audience to whom she has to pander. Now, without looking it up, I knew - as I assume readers here would know - that ignoramus is more usually used to mean ANY ignorant person. Carlson however defines it more specifically, on Fox News, as "It's an ignorant lawyer. We all know Barack Obama IS a lawyer".

Carlson is not actually wrong either. If you research the word, it derives from the Latin, ignorare, which translates "to be ignorant". There was a play titled "Ignoramus" waaaay back in 1615, by the English playwright G. Ruggle who used the word as a name for a character. That usage also derives from the legal terminology, "a grand jury's endorsement upon a bill of indictment when evidence is deemed insufficient to send the case to a trial jury" according to the American Heritage Dictionary. Carlson is, to borrow a phrase from my grandmother, "dumb like a fox" (pun intended). Carlson feigned her own ignorance purely as a device to interject the relatively obscure connection between the word ignoramus and lawyers. I admire the appreciation of language inherent in researching the background of the word done by Carlson; heck, it's the kind of thing I enjoy doing. I just wouldn't pretend to be stupid to introduce the information, or assume my audiece wouldn't appreciate the details, or misrepresent the actual more typical usage of a word.

Stewart picks up on this playing dumb by Carlson, when he goes on to mimic her, speaking in falsetto, "I mean I'm no fan of Chavez, but Obama IS a lawyer." In his own voice, Stewart continues "and of course all that talk about money and business just confuses the heck out of the old girl", going on to mock Carlson's pretense that she didn't understand the economic term "double dip recession'. Continuing in the falsetto as if he were Carlson, Stewart says "So it turns out that double dip means that Obama is not taking us all out for ice cream, but leading the country to an economic disaster."

He similarly excoriates Carlson over pretending to be unfamiliar with the word Czar when Stewart says "How do you get a job on television if you appear to be one of those people who need to pin their address to their coat so a stranger can help them find their way home? Unless, unless...unless...unless you are just dumbing yourself down to connect with an audience that you think sees intellect as an elitist flaw."

Noting "But that would be easy to check", Stewart gives the results of googling Gretchen Carlson, he notes that she was valedictorian of her high school, and went to college at Stanford, graduating with honors, then spending time abroad studying at Oxford, "not the Mississippi one, the Europe one."

Stewart then continues on about Carlson's talent competition performance as an accomplished classical violinist, when she won the 1989 Miss America pageant. He sarcastically observed "Of course, if she entered today, she'd probably just dress up like Raggedy Ann and sing "My Funny Valentine"."

Stewart ends his segment on Carlson and Fox News with "Gretchen, Baby, come back! You don't have to stash your IQ in an off shore account. Just 'cause you're on the couch with Jack Tripper and Janet doesn't mean you have to pretend to be Chrissy. So I don't want to have to turn you on tomorrow and see you are actually surprised that the Interior Secretary is in charge of the outside stuff. From now on, I want to see you give it 120%."

Ya gotta love Jon Stewart. And you have to wonder why it is that Gretchen Carlson, a woman who is beautiful, talented, intelligent, and poised has to pretend she is less educated and less knowledgeable, less competent than she is, in order to appeal to the viewers who are the bread-and-butter audience of Fox News. Can't Gretchen be accepted as well by the right if she appears on camera as the person she really is? It suggests feminists still have a long way to go.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sanctimonious Silliness, Staid Sexism

My good friend Mitch Berg claims to routinely "fisk" one of our local columnists, Nick Coleman, of the StarTribune. Coleman is an unabashed liberal, and while his radio persona was uncompelling, his writing usually is more interesting. Whether Berg or Coleman writes the better analysis, and which offers more snark than critique in the balance, I leave to the individual reader of their words.

Berg routinely claims that Katherine Kersten, the puritanical voice of the local right-wing media, is not fairly criticized for her content, but merely insulted by her detractors. Berg leaves the reason for the failure to focus on content unstated, but it may be inferred it is because Berg believes Kersten is rarely in error. To Berg, the left is essentially incapable of validly criticizing a conservative. Because Berg doesn't directly defend her writing, it creates the impression he believes she is correct, and that all that is 'left' for the left is insult her rather than to fairly fault her writing.

I'd like to address both Kersten and Berg's sophistry. In the Saturday October 3rd, 2009 edition of the StarTribune, Jeremy Powers skillfully takes Kersten to 'school' about her repudiation of classical literature such as "The Grapes of Wrath" and especially "The Scarlet Letter." Kersten advocated that there are meaningful, modern equivalents which should replace many of these historic classics.

Powers artfully shreds Kersten's assertion, and exposes Kersten at the same time. First of course, there is good reason such books are classics. To be a classic, the moral of the book is timeless, and the writing is significant on a multiple levels. If it were so easily replaced, it would not be a classic. It allows us to understand the historical contrast of that society to our own; and to read the views of the individuals living in that time, instead of our information about the world past and present being filtered only through our own modern bias.

In fact it is one of our common mistakes to think our solution, our problems are restricted only to our date and time. It makes clear to the student that 'new' issues of today, are in fact, not so new. In the case of the Scarlet Letter, the moral was, as Powers points out, that society's morals often are hypocritical, built up to ensure the powerful are excused, protected, and even offered justification for their indiscretions - while the penniless and powerless receive the heaviest penalties.

In the Scarlet Letter, the character of Hester Prynne has an affair with a powerful, influential man, a member of the clergy which gave him both social and political influence at that time, in addition to his financial status. The man is able to avoid any penalties and responsibilities for his actions by remaining anonymous, while Prynne bears the burden of the consequences for their action alone. Her treatment by the colony, and her conduct during her adversity, strongly indicts the enormous inequities inherent in Puritanical New England. Ironically, given Kersten's puritanical approach on sex and child-rearing, it exposes the unbridled hypocrisy of Puritanism, which sneeringly condemned adultery while tolerating the uncharitable nature of the town, in stark contrast to the commitment, simple dignity and hard work of Prynne.

In what may have been a planned irony against the backdrop of her column today,where she discusses the unhappiness brought about by the women's liberation movement of the 1970's, Powers rightly points out such books instruct us that the 'past' is often not glorious or fair. Classics also often teach us why we have changed society in the ways which we have, and remind us that our forefathers and foremothers fought battles which we no longer have to fight, because of their sacrifices. While I suspect Kersten didn't mean to say so, her objection to "The Scarlet Letter," and offering up of more current example, also conveniently and blithely glosses over the realities of those supposedly more moralistic days - and so we fail to learn from the history between the covers of those classics. In probably the funniest element of it all, it points out very clearly that a 'lack of commitment' to marriage and family, both by the Clergyman and Prynne's actual husband is hardly anything new.

In stark contrast to Power's erudite criticism of Kersten's narrow, and poorly reasoned understanding of the study of literature, was Kersten's repudiation of feminism on the opposite page of the same Editorial section.

In her column, Kersten made three basic claims:

1. In what was probably her most meaningful point, Ms. Kersten notes that the Wharton study shows that women aren’t really any happier, perhaps less so, with the new ‘freedoms’ offered by the liberation movement. She says the Wharton study shows that despite not really appreciably working more hours due to now having both job and family to juggle, women aren’t finding that golden pot at the end of the ‘liberty’ rainbow. This fatigue factor is something called ‘second shift’ effect which was the claim of feminists as the cause of unhappiness and which the Wharton study apparently disputes.

2. That sexual liberty caused women to begin to be objectified by men - and men consequently became less interested in commitment. Thus, the objectification was heightened by, not lessened by, the liberty discovered in the 1970's and later.

3. That economic and professional opportunity has shown women that, essentially, they now know what men already knew, namely that the professional world is rough and tumble, full of stress and bad bosses, situations which lead to shorter life expectancy for men.


She summarized by stating that, "Maybe we women got the whole happiness thing backward...we assured ourselves of a golden road ahead if we could throw off.. those ties themselves - those 'prisons' of family, marriage and other fundamental obligations." In short, that women were naive', they simply didn't know how rough the real world was, in what certainly seems like condescension, that women didn't really understand what they were biting off. Moreover, that they were failing to see how their obligations and bonds brought them closer to their 'true goal.' (Unnamed goal, but fill in your own blanks - I suspect she means happiness achieved through motherhood and maternal responsibility).

The sneering contempt which seems to drip from Ms. Kersten's words is so shot through with fallacy it is almost beyond my feeble capacity to fully reply, but I will try, in hopes that while perhaps I should't "worry my pretty little head" about such things, maybe if I do, something meaningful will result.


In a big-picture reply first - as for Ms. Kersten's underlying premise, namely that the reason for the feminist movement was mostly about sexual liberty and economic achievement. Certainly it could not possibly have been about women seeking to, as men have done for millenia, leave their mark on this world in an enduring way, and in a way beyond raising children for and washing the coats of their husbands.

I suspect if we challenged most Americans to name 25 women from history who weren't the relatives of the very powerful or authors, they could not do so. Perhaps there were and are women like Louisa May Alcott, or Jane Austin or Jane Eyre, who were not the wives of powerful men, but desired to be artists, or architects, or scientists, or theologians. Indeed it really is only as authors, and to a far lesser extent painters, where women were allowed to pursue without recrimination, so long as their works didn't stray into the heady areas of science or theology. Perhaps there were women who sought to stake out their own claims to thought, reason, and charity which stood apart from their husbands or fathers. Sometimes the truth is simple, sometimes, perhaps it is not their naivete' speaking, but rather their desire to be seen as something deeper than the object wrapped around the arm of their spouse.

As for Ms. Kersten's second premise, namely that men began in 1970 to objectify women and became less inclined to remain married. I would refer her to read please oh, "The Scarlet Letter" - where in the late 1600's, a women was the object of a man's affection - used and eventually cast aside. HE certainly didn't objectify her did he? Oh, certainly not, that never happened prior to the sexual revolution - nor did we have belly/go-go dancers dancing in the Alabama State Courthouse in the middle 60's with the pious, Christian white, male 70 year-olds shakin' 'their grove thang' along with them. In fact of course, objectification of women was the NORM prior to the 1900's.

While Kersten COULD have made a reasonable argument that women (young women) of today take a more cavalier attitude about sex because pregnancy is so much less likely an outcome, and could have argued reasonably that such an attitude is in the long rung morally self-defeating, teaching the BOYS and the girls with them that our bodies are simply there for pleasure rather than affection - she instead presented a fallacy, namely that commitment just started dying in 1970, and that objectification is a new phenomenon. Had she availed herself of a myriad of books, from the Illiad to the story of Lady Godiva - she might have understood the historical bedrock screaming out against the rape and tyranny visited upon women throughout the ages by these highly committed men, such as those of the 2nd Crusade who, upon reaching Constantinople and hearing of their poor prospects in Palestine, instead decided to sack the city, killing all the males, raping and slaughtering their wives and daughters, and taking the riches of this Christian city for themselves. I think rather than smirk so self-satisfiedly at her peers, perhaps Ms. Kersten would do well to pick up a history book and understand the lesson of classics is timeless because it survives the cultural variance to remind us of our greatest hopes and most commonplace of failures and frailties.


Regardless, Kersten profoundly misses the reason for the women’s liberation movement. She presents her column as a “they didn’t know how good they had it” kind of commentary. In what is nothing short of striking irony, Kersten pretends to suggest that the sexual objectification and slackening of commitments was somehow CAUSED by the liberation movement opposite an editorial about a book EXACTLY detailing a story of sexual objectification and lack of commitment from the 1600’s! And worse, a book Kersten says we don’t need to learn from because modern stories serve just fine to teach us all the lessons we need – well apparently, Ms. Kersten, not quite all the lessons.


The truth is the liberation movement effectively began in reaction to effective birth control pills. Women could, with the advent of ‘the pill’, chose the time and place of their pregnancies. They were not bound to cycles of pregnancy and recovery, nor were they reliant upon men using prophylactic protection, a reliance which was dicey at best. With that independence they could, should they so choose, ‘be with’ men as they desired, in much the same way as some men were, and still are, often sexually active with whomever they can get into bed. It’s not perhaps wise or even ethical, but any of us who have been or knew teenage boys or men in their early 20’s, the fact is commitment wasn’t the first word out of their mouth.


This independence helped pave the way for the ‘free love’ movement of the 1960’s, and along with it many of the long-standing social mores of the day were brought into question. Among those was the idea that women weren’t bright enough, or serious enough, or strong enough to co-exist in a business world. In truth, it was also that employers feared hiring a young woman who was both likely to get married and likely to leave permanently when she had children. The attitudes changed in the 1960’s, both in that women weren’t necessarily interested in marriage and family first, and second in that employers truly had less to fear.

But the key element, the thing which drove the ‘liberation’ movement, and in counterpoint to her third fallacious argument, was that women were finally in a position to live independently. Ms. Kersten rightly identifies that divorce has skyrocketed, but since WHEN?? The simple answer is, since World War II, not since or certainly not just since 1970. Women were finally free to leave abusive relationships without fear that their children or they would starve. They were no longer required to put up with husbands who would beat them, perhaps rape them – since no law really would bring a husband to justice for assaulting his wife. Women, due to the 1930’s welfare state and the liberation impacts of many women in the work force in World War II – didn’t have to STAY married no matter what.

Perhaps Kersten thinks that’s bad, I doubt it, but I don’t. She has here causal effects wrongly placed – women’s liberation didn’t bring down marriage and commitment – men and a society which silently tolerated impossible relationships deserve the lion’s share of credit. Women no longer have to stay in those relationships and they don’t. Now if we want to talk about a change in commitment attitudes, I’m all for it, but then let’s talk about the me/greed generation of the 1980’s and what effect it had on commitment, on responsibility, etc… in the same breath.
So, in the end, perhaps women aren’t happier, but that was hardly the point.

Seeking joy (happiness) in life is a laudable, even penultimate goal, but it is hardly the only goal. Women’s liberation was about the liberty to stand on one’s own two feet, out of the shadow of another, to see and experience life as it came, proving to herself that she was strong, and to see her accomplishments given the credit they deserved. With it has come the realization that things aren’t always greener on the other side, to be sure, but it is also the case that with it we see FAR less sexism in the workplace, far less objectification there as well, and spousal abuse, in-marriage rape, child abuse, etc.. have ALL been brought into the public eye in ways that never happened before about 1970. Issues long unaddressed now are treated with the seriousness they deserve. Not everything in life is about happiness, sometimes it is about justice and simply doing what is right.

Women are brilliant, equally so as men certainly, and they are plenty smart enough to have been able to decide whether they wanted equality in the workplace and in the bedroom – and anyone with the audacity to say ‘See, you don’t know how good you had it” I suggest is the more ignorant one – and needs to go read Louisa May Alcott to gain some perspective of what life WAS like, or perhaps The Scarlet Letter, or perhaps maybe just go tell a black man how much better he had it when his race were slaves – for while it’s not the same thing (slavery vs. subordination) – the comment is equally reflective of the sneering ignorance of the speaker. Liberty is rarely about ‘ease’ in life, and everything about self-determination.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sticks and Stones I



“Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes
American Physician, Poet, Writer, Humorist and Professor at Harvard,

1809-1894

"Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but names / words will never hurt me."
English proverb

A subject came up on another blog yesterday, to which I responded; thinking about that subject kept me awake longer than I would have liked last night. Thank you again, Pen, for providing me with a forum in which to write about those things. The subject that I pondered was responding to telemarketers with sexual language intended to make them extremely uncomfortable, so they would hang up, so no one would call back. There was a certain distinct glee in the notion of using language and sexuality to make callers uncomfortable; given certain homophobic attitudes, it is I think fair to assume most of this language would be directed towards women, not men.

I argued for courtesy, brevity, and clarity in expressing offense. Some individuals supported that, either fully or partially; others disagreed with my position, at least one in a moderately offensive manner. I responded with more restraint than my first impulse, but with asperity. That restraint left a lot of unexpressed feelings, so voila, they are expressed here.

As a backdrop, I am researching the subject of sexual abuse and sexual harassment of women in the military, returning women veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan specifically, and the traditions and culture of the military. Since I have not served in the military, I had a very productive conversation with Pen, who served in the military for a number of years. He gave me insightful observations from his experience.

Have patience, I will reach my eventual point, long way round; in the end I think the point will be better made.

When I was a very small child, I was very blessed to have as a regular baby sitter, a man who was a dear family friend, and also our family dentist, although he was much more than 'just' a dentist or oral surgeon. When I was much older, I came across his impressive entry in Who's Who, and learned just how remarkable he really was. He was the first person to recognize that I was an unusually smart child. He lived in a beautiful Georgian house; his den / library had high ceilings, with built in bookcases full of books all the way up, an enormous antique desk, and a fire place with a beautiful original oil painting hanging over it. Best of all, this room had both a microscope AND a telescope in it; I was given every encouragement to explore ALL of it to my heart and mind's content. There were never any 'don't touch' restrictions, despite all of the objects throughout the house were extremely valuable. It was a house where adults lived, not children; their children were grown and away at college. I thought it was the closest thing there was to heaven on earth.

I remember being encouraged to take books off the shelf, even books from the very highest where I had to be lifted up, books that we would then go through together. It didn't matter what the subject was: poetry or literature, history, bacteriology or some other science, philosophy, anything and everything. We would read it together, and talk about it. By talk about it, I don't mean in the usual way that adults tend to talk 'down' to children, but more as equals, mentor teaching protege. I remember he said my questions challenged him; I remember that the way my mind worked often made him laugh, laugh out loud, laugh until he had tears in his eyes. I never, ever had the feeling that he was laughing AT me. I sensed he enjoyed watching me think, he approved, that he was a kindred mind and spirit; in many ways, he understood me more than anyone else in my childhood.

This wonderful man had a profound influence on the development of my intellect, and on the formation of my character. He taught me to dare to challenge limitations, especially artificially imposed limitations, including assumptions about restrictions by gender. I remember my early discussions about shyness, and fear. He taught me fear was sometimes a good thing, that it could keep you safe; but it also could be a bad thing, if it took over control by the rational mind. He taught me to evaluate risk for myself, that risks could be calculated and managed; that I should dare whatever I thought worth the effort, but never foolishly. I grew up hearing the message over and over that most people are uncomfortable around smart people; that boys and men especially didn't like smart women because they viewed them as threatening to their egos, even smart men, but never from him. I remember saying that people who didn't enjoy intelligent women were boring; I refused to pretend to be less smart. He was amused by my rebellion.

As my dentist, he was the first to recognize that redheads have different pain reactions, and have a different response to both local and other anesthetics, before it was better researched and documented. He measured my pain perception and tolerance / resistance with a type of dolorimeter that directs a puff of air towards the eye, when it was still a new science. When I needed dental work of any kind, we discussed together how much it might hurt, for how long, and what the options were for controlling pain including the pros and cons of medications. Control of pain decisions were given to me; with the empowerment of those discussions, I usually opted for minimal medications, or none. We discussed the importance of knowing how much and how long something would be painful, of mind over matter for that period. He was always accurate and candid with me, and with the other aspects of our relationship, built up a very deep trust. When he deemed it necessary to remove all four of my impacted wisdom teeth, I didn't hesitate, when he recommended Novocain instead of a general anesthetic because he felt it would be important for me to be able to move my head and hold my head in certain positions. He showed me the x rays and explained everything fully; he would have to work quickly because Novocaine wears off unusually fast for me. For that reason, he would do one side, top and bottom, one day, and the other side a couple of weeks later.

During the surgery, from the beginning, there were painful complications. It resulted in bleeding, requiring cautery. As I was tried to swallow the blood that wasn't sucked up by the tube on the side of my mouth, he asked his assistant get the cautery unit. It should have been in the surgical suite, but was in the other dental treatment room. When she came back, this unprofessional woman said, very loudly, "Oh, my GOD! Look at all that BLOOD." This was not good, but I didn't let her comment get to me. I made a face, as best I could given the circumstances, rolling my eyes.

My dentist was very critical of her conduct. Worse than her original mistake, she continued on about the blood. I was not only a patient, I was in the relationship of a protege, a word derived from the Latin protegere, to protect. My mentor lost his temper, in a way I had never seen from him, ever. He not only raised his voice, if not exactly yelling, he used words that shocked me. He made a vulgar, crass, derogatory reference to blood, specifically menstrual blood and this woman's experience. I have never had the involuntary response to blood that many people feel, both men and women. But there was something about the ugliness of what he said and how he said it and meant it that made me feel very suddenly sick inside, small, a naked kind of vulnerable, and helpless; that was the intent of those words, although not directed at me. It was the absolute opposite of the empowerment, the sense of control, including the mastery over pain, that I had built up.

As a teenager, I did not have the armor against words and attitudes that I have now, including skills dealing with sexually abusive language; nor the mastery over my emotions that I have tried to acquire with maturity. What I felt showed in my face; I certainly wasn't verbalizing anything, in the middle of oral surgery. He looked down at me, and stopped cold; he asked me if I was okay. Then he stepped into the hall where in my hearing, he apologized to his employee. When he came back into the oral surgical suite a few moments later, he gave my hand a squeeze, and talked me back to where I needed to be to finish that surgery. I had been shaken by his words, by the ugliness of the thoughts and the hostility, but my trust was stronger.

As a result of this experience, I gained an insight into the destructive power of thoughts and words, even the destructive power of sexuality. It gave me an empathy to the nature of pain and control that comes to mind on the topic of torture I would never have had without losing my control during a surgical procedure. From this, I think I understand what Judge Sotomayor was trying to say, albeit badly, when she spoke about her experiences as a woman and a minority resulting in a better understanding of others' experiences. I take it to mean not only understanding feelings generally, but things like separating truthful statements from untruthful ones made in court testimony.

This was certainly the formative experience that came to my mind when I commented on using sexually explicit language to make a telemarketer feel uncomfortable in annoyance. To me it seemed a drastic difference of degree, but not a great difference in kind, to the mind set that causes the unpleasant, damaging experiences of women in the military, and the failure of the military in many instances to adequately respond to them.

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names / words can never hurt me" was a rhyme we were all taught as children. It is not true. While physical violence is certainly a very different thing than words, words also can have a serious, significantly damaging impact on each of us. That is as true for men as it is for women.

As I wrote these words, believing I was in control of those feelings, I had an enlightening experience. I am taking care of a young dog, a two year old intact male, a beautiful borzoi, for a friend. I was one of the first people to hold him when he was whelped by C-section; I bottle fed him from that first day, comforted him if he got stepped on in the whelping box. We have a deep connection, a strong rapport, this dog and me. As I was sitting at the keyboard, tapping out the first paragraphs, rereading, editing, spellchecking, this dog was sprawled out in another room, oblivious. As I was working on the paragraph with the unpleasant memory, he suddenly came barreling out of that room over to me, laying his head on my arm. I petted him, talked to him, gave him a quick kiss on the 'sweet spot' between and slightly above his eyes...... and expected him to go away. That kind of intermittent touching base between canine pack members is routine, also with their humans. There was nothing unusual, except perhaps the timing.

But he didn't go away; he picked up a squeaky dog toy, a really annoying squeaky toy, and lay down behind my chair, in a defensive position. I am very attuned to dog body language, and to the significance of relative positions, between dogs, dogs and people, dogs and... things. It is an essential skill in retraining dogs, especially dogs where there are aggression problems. This dog doesn't have aggression issues, but he exhibits behavioral cues. Other dogs were not allowed to approach; although more subordinate in the pack order, he briefly assumed the dominant role of pack enforcer. I was home alone, but I doubt that he would willingly have allowed any person to approach me. My best educated guess, was that he sensed more than I had understood, hoe those memories were distressing. I cannot explain how he could pick up on that from another room, but I trust my instincts in reading dog behavior; they have stood me in good stead. It was not the first time I have observed dogs sense things in ways that are not easily explained, especially service dogs. This boy has excellent service dog potential; he is unusually perceptive.

I got up for more coffee, did other things, and the entire time, he was my shadow, a 'Velcro' dog; not his usual behavior. When I came back to the computer, to add this final paragraph, he resumed his protective position until I was near the end. Then he got up, nuzzled my hand, and returned to his original spot in the other room to lie down again. His job was done. Mercifully, he did not take the annoying squeaky toy with him. So now, I am apparently no longer emotionally vulnerable; I have resumed my role as human pack alpha.

Addendum


In writing Sticks and Stones, there were several things I wanted to accomplish. I leave it to the readers to decide how close I came. I wanted to write from a female perspective in a mostly male genre; I wanted men to see through the eyes of women. I wanted to write about the power of language.

The only way I could think of to use words skillfully enough was to use a real experience, an experience of my own. I followed the admonition to writers: write what you know. So, thank you Pen, for the compliment that I am brave, but I don't think I deserve it.

In writing about being female, and the destructive power of language and men, I wanted to write about the positive aspects. This is why I chose to write about my mentor. It was not my intention to 'bash' men, but to acknowledge those men throughout my life who through language, and through their qualities of character and intellect, each in their different ways created an environment where I could challenge and develop my abilities, my skills; where I could identify and pursue my interests. That includes as the most recent example, writing here.

I have never tolerated bullies. When I was a junior in high school, a male senior was bullying a younger student. I politely asked him to stop, twice. Unwisely, he did not. After the second request, I lost my temper in defense of that younger student, much as my mentor had lost his temper. I did not raise my voice, I did not use vulgar language. That was not my style; I was always 'ladylike', but I was vicious, I was fierce. I used language to wound, with precision, with calculation, as if it were a very sharp knife. Because the bully had not stopped when asked, I felt free to be punitive. The intention was to hurt him, to reduce him to tears, if not in front of me, as soon as he was alone. My high school boyfriend, who witnessed this, afterwards said to me very simply, that I went off on the bully "like an exploding grenade." He very gently made me realize that given my far greater ability to use words so effectively, I became a bully, however well intentioned I began.

I can laugh now, recognizing how strong and secure this guy was at the time, to be comfortable with someone with my.... 'force of personality'. I don't think I changed that bully by being nasty, however much I enjoyed my verbal advantage. But this young man accomplished that with me by being wise, and gentle. He taught me a lesson, which I regret to say I have had to relearn from time to time, that like physical violence which tends to beget more violence, the hostile use of words elicits more of the same emotion.

Over on SitD, another blog, when the topic of abusing telemarketers came up, my first impulse was to respond aggressively. There are a few individuals who lurk there who have over a span of years in other venues seen me 'verbally draw blood', and who are may be waiting to see me do it again. It was not difficult to resist that first impulse, but it reminded me of my mentor, and of that old high school boy friend. It reminded me that while we may do it differently, women make the same choices to be as nurturing and protective, or as destructive, as men.

I have learned more from dogs than I have ever taught them. Every interaction must begin with first understanding, and then controlling oneself before trying to understand and train or a control a dog. The exquisite hound who guarded my chair when I wrote Sticks and Stones is a sabled red dog, the red in his coat is very similar to my own coloring, like an outward symbol of our inner connection. He is an extraordinarily sweet creature, but he was bred for function as well as beauty; he has a strong prey drive, in his very core he exists for the joy of the chase, and the thrill of the kill. In his own way, he has reminded me how even the most lethal ferocity can exist side by side with tremendous gentleness and grace inside the same skin. Dogs are born understanding what we need to learn consciously. What we do verbally in our relationships, dogs do nonverbally.